Well, I'm really starting to feel the end of college more and more these days. Reid is moving out on Friday and I'm moving out the week before graduation, in 30 days. So, with that in mind, I'd like to share with you a partial list of the things that bug me, in no particular order. 1. When the computer that records TV in my room randomly decides to start playing live TV at 4 in the morning. For some reason, on the few occasions when this has happened, it's usually right at the murder scene of a horror movie or something like that. One time it came on right as someone asked a question, followed by a long pause. This prompted me to sit up and answer the question while trying to figure out who was in my room.
2. Death. While it's true that most people don't have to deal with death until the end of their lives, it's still one of those things that's always in the back of your mind, making you wonder, "could it come sooner?"
3. When people applaud because it seems appropriate, and not because it actually is. Like when a comedian points out a well-known deficiency of the government. If a senator said it, then maybe you could applaud, cause the senator could actually do something about it.
4. The shorter, wider honey mustard dipping sauce cups at Wendy's. They alternate back and forth a lot, and I wish they would just pick one. And I wish the one they would pick would not be the shorter, wider one. They hold the same amount of sauce as the smaller, taller ones, but now I have fewer options as to how deep I can dip my nugget. My nugget wants to be dipped in deep, tight sauce, not swished around in a shallow, spacious sauce. Let's use some common sense here.
5. Self-transporting objects. I spend a lot of time and energy making mental notes of the locations of objects that sit between the front door and my room, and my room and the bathroom. This way I can navigate the apartment in the dark without making a lot of noise. It's really disconcerting to be almost to my room, having avoided all the empty boxes and cat toys, only to suddenly step on or punt the actual cat. She needs to pick a spot and stay there, or make some sort of noise before I kick her to let me know where she is.
6. The concept of the constant variable. It defies logic.
7. Fingers. I have had fingers for as long as I can remember, and I've spent a lot of time watching them. Slowly bending them in every direction, moving some independently of others, even cracking them from time to time. But in 22 years, I have not seen any one of them fing.
8. The Glaucoma test. It's the only thing I remotely dislike about the eye doctor, and I hate it. It's worse than a shot, cause at least you know when the shot is coming. And sometimes the device makes noises while it's aligning which make you think it's about to fire, so you squint, and then it misses, and then they have to do it again. It would make an excellent torture device.
9. Mattel's marketing strategy. The strategy is to take the main character of a toy line and release that character in as many variants as possible, and occasionally release a new character. This results in shelves being stocked with unsellable variants, while the unique characters are hard to find. If you need an example of this, go to a toy store and look at the Batman and Barbie toys. If you find a Batman toy that is not of Batman himself, buy it. It's probably worth some money. And Barbie's even worse, because they give you the exact same doll but just with different clothes. Mattel, no child wants 15 Batmans without any villains, sidekicks, or non-Batmans.
10. The rank of Moff. Moff is an honorary title bestowed by the Emperor. I think I would work hard to get to the rank of Admiral, and then stop. I would not want to be a Moff. If I accidentally became a Moff, I would then be forced to work extra hard to become a Grand Moff, cause at least then it wouldn't suck so bad. Being Moff would just get stale after a while, and there's nothing worse than a stale Moff.